Posted on January 27 2017
For most of my adult life I am been single, there have been a few relationships, no marriages or children - which gets a lot of "what's wrong with you?" questions :)
In fact for two years now I have chosen not to actively date or be with anyone romantically, there have been a couple of dates but no one good enough for the final casting call and I like it this way.
Yes there are times I am lonely however I have welcomed the time alone and decided to focus on other things instead.
If you are finding yourself suddenly single or not really sure what to do with yourself when you are not in a relationship here are some of the things I have found that worked for me and they might for you too.
1. Gym, Gym & more Gym.
Through working out regularly it gives me a focus and something to do whenever I choose to (thankfully FlyeFit is 24 hours). Somedays I just head down to stretch and walk on the treadmill. Through the gym I have made good friendships with others who like to go too. Some days we follow it up with brunch and the chats. Gym life rocks for making you feel good, look good and making new connections.
2. Spend time with your family and friends
. . . especially if there are children around, offer to look after them. Thankfully my wonderful sister has been the breeder of us and given our family two amazing kids. I have been lucky enough to spend time with her daughter and she is simply the love of my life. They new guy is growing on me :) Children are non-judgemental and great to spend time with to see the world through their eyes for a change.
3. Relax and learn to love spending time on your own.
Put the phone down and pick up a book try arts & crafts or colouring, doing something with your hands can help take you out of your head for a while. If it feels scary have some background music on low and just try it for 20 mins one day then 30 mins the next and build up. Even if you meet the love of your life and spend all the time you can with them they will have to at some point leave you on your own for something like work or a trip and there is nothing worse than a clingy partner who cannot cope home alone. Embrace the time by yourself and recharge.
4. Focus on a side project.
Build a model ship, start a blog, join a photography club, whatever it is you enjoy as a hobby, fill your spare time with that. It could lead to a new way to widen your circle of friends and who knows if you do wish to meet somebody and start another relationship and at least you know you have at least one thing in common with that person.
Anyhoo I hope these tips have helped - email me if you have any more I would love to hear them - firstname.lastname@example.org
I absolutely love Alain De Botton and his teachings in The School of Life are some of my favourite videos to watch.
This one made me very happy.